Lately, I've found myself considering the fragility of the human mind.
It started about a month ago when an acquaintance from our teenage years killed himself.
We are great friends with some of his great friends, and they were (and are) understandably devastated.
This was a happy guy, who loved life, but who was apparently tormented by depression, but just managed to hide it.
A few days after Julie and I got married, we made a foolish decision. It was about 11:30 at night on Christmas Eve, and we had just opened all our Wedding Gifts (we got married on the 21st). Thus, we had a considerable amount of cash in our wallets that we wanted to put away into the bank. We went downtown to the bank machine and a fellow came in behind us, presumably to use the bank machine once we were finished. He started talking in an unusual voice, and it was clear he was either really drunk, messed up on drugs, or quite out of it due to some sort of mental malaise. I can't remember exactly what he said except for one thing, which he said in a very gollum'esque voice: "Me Kill Everybody???"
Here we were, newly married, with a few thousand IN CASH in our hands, trying to deal with this bizarre situation. We quickly counted and deposited our money, I told him that 'it wouldn't be very nice to kill everyone', because of course, 'it's Christmas Eve'. We quickly walked home wondering what had just happened.
It seems like it is quite a miracle for a person to come out of the first 25 years or so of his or her life without any life-affecting mental trauma. I know of many people who take drugs (legal or otherwise) because of mood, or who suffer from a diagnosed mental illness, and I've been trying to understand it more. It seems the human brain is suited to a very precise mix chemical soup. When the conditions are not ideal, things go awry. I cannot even hope to understand the darkness that is depression, and want to understand it more. Some do not.
Last January, I was taking a class at another Bible College in the area to finish my degree. We were on break at a coffee shop and one of the other guys there, who was going through to be a pastor, was talking about mental illness. He said that every problem a human can have can be answered through scripture. If someone is depressed, or suffering from bi-polar disorder, or has an eating disorder, they should look no further than the pages of the Bible to find relief, because their problem was caused by sin in their life. I told him about how some brain disorders are caused by chemical imbalances and other, entirely physical maladies, or can be caused my childhood trauma, like abuse of one kind or another, and have nothing to do with whether or not they lied to their parents when they were seven. He did not agree.
I feel sorry for those who will be attending his church.